Sorry, sir!
- Is this the weekend, McKim? - Yes, sir.
- Good luck! - Thank you, sir.
- Sorry. - Come along.
John!
Shove this into my locker, will you?
- What's the big rush? - Taking Genevieve to Brighton.
Good luck.
- Hi. - Hello there.
Wendy!
Blast!
It's not locked, you know.
You shouldn't carry so much.
You made me break the eggs, that's what!
- Hello. - Hello.
What's the matter?
Teamers have ruined my best skirt.
Ruined it?
Yes, they pressed the pleats the wrong way around.
How can you tell which way a pleat should go?
- Alan! - Yeah?
Proper lunch or proper dinner?
Proper dinner.
- Eh. - Oh!
- Are we doing anything this afternoon? - Yes, I am. Tinkering.
- Genevieve's making strange noises. - Never makes anything else.
The bank.
We seem to be worth 133 pounds and nine pence.
Should be 143.
- I drew out ten. - What for?
- A surprise. - What kind of a...?
Hello, sport.
Give ear to that, will ya?
- Very nice. - Nice? It's like a jet!
I just spent 25 quid having her tuned up.
- How are you, old boy? - Fine thanks.
And the beautiful Mrs. McKim?
- She's in, I hope. - Wendy's in the kitchen.
How about this old crock? Think she'll make it to Brighton?
Well, if she doesn't, you'll have to take a train.
I'm giving a party tomorrow night.
Just you, Wendy, Rosalind and myself.
- Who's Rosalind? - A woman I met at the races.
I use the term woman in its broadest sense.
I'll bet you do.
“From the east to western Ind, no jewel is like Rosalind!”
She's equally keen on you, of course?
Keen? She's positively itching.
Lunch in 10 minutes.
Hello, Ambrose.
Hello, you gorgeous creature.
Come on, let's live a little!
- Kettle's boiling. - Ah, so am I.
You look wonderful today. I'll come in and help you.
Why don't you flunk that wreck, and buy a Spyker?
Silly ass.
Oh, I say. That smells delicious.
- There isn't very much. - Well, you know me.
- Any sherry? - Help yourself.
- How's the advertising business? - Ah, tedious.
But lucrative.
- You having one, Wendy? - Thanks.
Who's the lucky girl this year?
One Rosalind Peters. She's a model.
- What does she model? - Well...
No, don't tell me. I can guess.
She says they're wearing the same thing in sweaters this year.
She seems very interested in vintage cars.
Wait until she's bounced all the way to Brighton and back.
Bounced?
My Spyker doesn't bounce. It flows.
You don't seem very excited about the rally, if I may say so.
Not exactly beside myself.
If I didn't know you better I'd say your enthusiasm is on the wane.
Oh, Ambrose, the whole thing's so silly.
Oh steady-on, old girl. The London-Brighton silly?
Well it is. It's childish and a bore.
Does Alan know you feel like that about it?
Of course not. I couldn't possibly tell him.
Couldn't possibly tell me what?
Nothing.
- Well, tell me. - No, it's nothing.
Ambrose is staying to lunch.
Brown or white?
What couldn't you possibly tell me?
The fact is old boy, there's a spot of treachery in our midst.
- Wendy says... - Ambrose!
Wendy says the London-Brighton is a bore.
Ambrose, I think you're foul.
Does that mean you don't want to go?
No, of course I'll go.
You don't have to go, you Know, if you don't want to.
I don't?
Well, frankly, children, this is beyond me.
Is there something you'd rather do instead?
Well, is there?
Now just remember, will you,
I didn't bring this up, and I didn't want to talk about it.
But, as it happens, Tania's having a party tomorrow.
I'm having a party too. You, Alan, Rosalind...
The one weekend in the year that you know is important to me
And you'd rather go to a...
Of course I'd rather go to a party. Does that make me abnormal or something?
I simply don't see what's so wonderful about getting into a 50-year-old car and
taking two days to drive to Brighton and back.
Look Ambrose, if you don't...
Right. I was about to plead a subsequent engagement. 110
Well, good luck sport.
I'm sorry, darling.
Of course I'll go.
- Perhaps it'll be better this year. - No!
- No what? - I'll make the run alone.
Oh, please!
If you're going to be moody and long-suffering about it.
I? I, moody and long-suffering?
Don't you think you're being a little unfair?
No I don't. I think you're unfair.
- If Ambrose hadn't come in- - Ambrose! Ambrose!
Let's leave him out of it.
That's the really unpleasant aspect about this situation. The fact that you talked to him...
Why shouldn't I talk to him. He's our oldest friend isn't he?
He even introduced us.
I'd like to feel that when you had a problem, you could discuss it with me.
I don't understand your eagerness to confide in Abrose Claverhouse.
That's a beastly thing to say!
All right, then, so I'm unfair, moody, long-suffering and beastly!
You know very well you were going to ask me to give up the run and take you to the party instead.
- You would have asked me tonight. - I'm not going with you 131
This year, next year or any year!
I'll never get into that silly car again!
- Your lunch is ready. - I don't want any lunch!
- Then don't eat any lunch. - I can get it round at the pub!
Then go round to the blasted pub.
Why shouldn't I talk to him. He's the oldest...
Wendy!
Wendy, come and eat your lunch. Oh, go away.
What on earth are you doing now? Cleaning my teeth.
Glass under the bathtub. I knocked it out of the window.
Why sweep it under the tub? I'll only have to get it out again.
Don't worry about it. I'll clean it up in the morning.
- What on earth are you looking for? - A bandage.
Why? Hurt yourself?
Oh. You'll survive.
It's bleeding. If you have no objection, I'd like to have a bandage.
Don't know where they are.
They're in a box somewhere.
Do you think you'll be able to drive?
It doesn't matter, I'm not going.
What on earth do you mean, not going?
- Oh, Alan, do stop behaving.. - There're no bandages in there.
They must be downstairs.
If you think you can punish me by not going, you've got another think coming.
I don't care one little bit whether you go or not.
And if you're not going, why did you spend the whole afternoon working on the car?
Oh, men!
[Spend the whole afternoon working on the car.]
[For a matter that's important to me, we're always equal.]
Alan...
I've got grease on my face.
Mind my bonnet
What is taking place here is by now an old story.
But surprising as it may seem it was quite illegal until 1896.
Until then no self-propelled vehicle could take the road
Unless it was preceded by a man on foot
And carrying a red flag.
There were very few cars on the roads
And very few roads, for that matter, merely stretches of dust.
There were no garages or service stations.
And the pioneer motorist bought his petrol from the chemist.
But in that year was passed the Light Locomotives and Highways Act.
To celebrate the event, the first car so emancipated started
from the Metropole Hotel, London,
and drove to the Metropole Hotel, Brighton.
Since 1928 the Veteran Car Club has held an
Annual Commemoration run.
But it is not, and has never been, a race.
Here's a very handsome machine.
A Darracq, isn't it? Yes, that's right.
1904, isn't it?
Yes, that's right. Yes, I thought so.
Well I wonder whether you'd care tell listeners how it was that you came to acquire
this, uh, vehicle Mr....
Uh McKim. McKim, yes.
Well um,
My grandfather bought her new. In about, uh, 1928 my uh...
My my my father found her on a rubbish dump
Bought it for a pound and rebuilt her. Um.
He's made all the runs.. I made all the..
He made all the runs before the war, and I've made them all since.
That's astonishing. Thank you both very much. And jolly good luck to you.
Whew!
I wonder where Ambrose is?
You see Mr. Claverhouse?
He's gone to telephone. His guest failed to appear.
We're due to start in five minutes.
Suppose after all that build-up he's isn't even going to produce her. Ho ho ho...
Look!
D'you think that's the...? It must be. It couldn't be anyone else.
I beg your pardon. Are you miss Peters?
- Yes, you must be Mr. And Mrs... - McKim, Alan and Wendy.
Ah, Ambrose's friends.
Isn't he here? I think he went to telephone. Oh.
He'll be back.
I, I'll take your cases over to his car. Thank you.
Suzy!
Come on, Suzy.
Come on.
There!
This is Suzy. She can say, “How d'you do.”
Say, “How d'you do,” Suzy.
Say, “How d'you do,” Suzy. Oh.
She can do the cutest things when she wants to.
It must be too early in the morning.
Didn't realise there was going to be so many people.
Ambrose said it's a very exclusive club.
Suzy!
I usually leave her with the housekeeper where I live.
But she's been ill, so I had to bring her.
You don't think that Ambrose'll mind, do you? Mind?
Of course not. He'll be delighted.
Here we are.
- Is that it? - This is it.
Oh, no! Is this Ambrose's?
But has it got brakes and everything?
I know he said it was an old car, but the way he talked about it I thought it was something wonderful!
You'll get used to it. They all talk like that.
Rosalind!
Hey, Rosalind!
Hi! Hi.
Good morning, Wendy. Morning, old sport.
So reason prevailed, eh?
Thank heavens you got here. I've been calling your number all night.
Oh I'm sorry, but I went to that party on Friday, and it sort of got out of hand.
Everybody decided to fly to Jersey.
Eh? Aw. Oh well, never mind.
What's that?
I was going to leaver her with the housekeeper, but she's been sick.
The dog's been sick? No, of course not. The housekeeper.
But Rosalind. We can't take that mutt all the way to Brighton.
She's not a mutt.
She's a sweet dog and has absolutely perfect manners.
Can't you understand? We can't take that great big fat, lump of a...
Alan, bear me out. It just won't do, will it?
Well, I don't see why not, old man. Oh fine, fine that's very funny.
Mr. Claverhouse.
You're next.
All right. But we'd better get aboard.
Will the cars on the eastern side.... Rosalind, buck up, hurry up!
All the cars on the eastern side are first.
You'll find it'll be all right, once you get started.
You're a great help, you are.
Suzy's itching, anyway. Bah!
See you in Brighton. Goodbye. Bye, Wendy!
Goodbye!
No standards. Nobody home.
Happy, darling?
I know I was a silly ass, yesterday.
It just wouldn't be the same without you.
I love you. You know that?
And I love you, too. And I'm glad I came. Really.
Oh, blast these tram lines!
You know. I think she's feeling better now.
I think she's even beginning to like it.
Aren't you, Suzy? But where did you get her?
I found her. During the war.
I think she was blitzed, because she was awfully neurotic.
Do you know,
for a long time she wouldn't eat anything except ravioli.
Isn't that strange!
Not too cold, are you darling? No, I'm fine.
I don't think it'll rain, anyway.
I must say. Considering how little time I had to work on her,
the old girl's really behaving herself.
You should never say a thing like that.
Nothing important. It won't take a minute.
Want some coffee? No thanks. Not now.
Having trouble? We shall be all right, thank you.
All right for petrol? Yes, quite.
Better try a new fling.
Modern car owner for you. Typical.
I thought that was very funny!
Didn't you think it was funny? No I didn't.
Oh, darling, it's not even 10:30. What do you mean?
You can't lose your temper now.
If you lose your temper now. What on earth are you going to be like by evening.
Wendy!
Oh, my golly. It's all gone through my skirt!
Do something! Why don't you do something!
Give me a towel. Quick. Here's another one?
Stop beside him.
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Oh, I'll have to change absolutely everything.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Darling.
Oh, you are clumsy. It's all your fault.
Why couldn't you be more careful?
It's ruined the dress. Wendy, I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't know you were pouring the coffee.
Otherwise I wouldn't have cranked the car. I - Alan
Darling.
Now look here my friend. We don't want any...
Very nice. Thank you very much.
Hold on there!
What's the matter, chum? Don't you want to see yourself on the films?
Take your Mrs. to the local. She'll love it.
Wendy. Are you all right?
Yes, I'm fine.
Darling, I'm terribly sorry.
Are you soaking?
Is there anything I can do? Yes.
Put these in the car.
Here, and this too.
Hello, McKim. Hello, love.
I'm sorry, darling. It was my fault, the whole thing.
Never mind. It's not as bad as all that.
Come on. Let's go.
You know I wouldn't blame you, if you said you wanted to turn back.
Well I don't.
Are you sure? Are you sure you're not just saying that.
Look, I don't want you to go on with this just because you think I'd be hurt.
I'm perfectly willing to go home.
I mean it.
We'd get back in time for Tania's party. Oh, come off it, Alan.
But I mean it. You don't mean it at all.
You know as well as I do we shall be in Brighton tonight dead or alive.
But you want to go on? I've said I want to go on.
I know, but if you did want to go home. All right.
All right, what?
Let's go home. Uh?
I want to go home.
Do you mean it? Of course I mean it!
Darling, you are serious, aren't you? You're not just.. Oh, for heaven's sake, Alan
You know perfectly well we're going to Brighton.
Are we going to sit here all day?
Do you realise what good time we've made. I told you...
I know, I shouldn't say things like that. But the fact is, we have.
I've just had an idea. Mmm.
Don't you want to know what it is?
You should do, because you're going to be delighted.
All right. Delight me.
Look, old Harry's pub is only half a mile ahead. We're going to stop and I'm going to buy you a jolly good lunch.
You know what? I'm going to buy you a jolly good dinner.
I'm not counting on that, either.
It'll take at least a half an hour to put this right.
You know, I really did want to buy you a decent lunch, but...
What are you looking for?
What's this?
Food! Yes.
But how? Wh.. Wh..When? Last night?
Last night. While you were asleep.
I knew we wouldn't get any lunch. Never have done yet, when we went to Brighton.
Chicken, ham, salad
Olives
Oh, you're wonderful!
It's a wonderful idea. Makes the day.
Look, there they are.
Having some difficulty, old man. Where have you been?
We didn't pass you.
We've just been enjoying a delicious and most leisurely lunch.
You've changed.
Oh, and you've had a picnic.
Why couldn't we have had a picnic? I love picnics.
Well, I don't know.
You think that old crock's packed it in for good?
Well, don't worry about it. Are you sure I can't give you a hand, old boy. 370
Don't you think Wendy ought to come with us?
I should hate her to miss the parade.
If you take my advice, old boy
The next time that old engine dies, you'll take it out a bury it.
What was that? Honey, let's go.
You think something awful's happened? Could be.
Oh, Suzy.
Suzy!
You all right, Suzy?
Poor Suzy.
Having some difficulty, old man?
You know, we should take Rosalind with us. I should hate for her to miss the parade.
If you take my advice. The next time that engine dies...
Did you see his expression?
Brighton 16 miles
Brighton 13 miles
It wasn't that funny.
Wasn't funny at all, really.
You should have stopped and helped him.
Would I stop and help Ambrose?
After all his insults at Genevieve.
I wouldn't lend him a hand if he was the last...oh, is that unfair!
I don't know what it is about these silly old cars.
The moment people get into them they start behaving like idiots.
You know perfectly well, if you were in trouble, he would stop and help you.
Never! He would! Never.
Anyhow. I'd never ask him to.
Alan! Steering's gone.
Sit tight Wendy.
Well be all right.
Alan!
Hold on, darling.
We'll be all right.
Alan!
Sorry, darling.
Is it really serious?
Do you think you can fix it?
I don't know. I can try. It'll take hours.
I need a ring spanner.
It's Ambrose. He's got one. Just the sort I need.
Ambrose!
Ambrose, wait a minute.
Ambrose!
Arrival
Give it to me again, darling.
20 minutes to spare.
How about a drink to celebrate?
Love one.
If you'd like, we've got time enough to pop across to the hotel and check up that uh.. Our rooms are okay.
Not now. I'd like to see, uh, what happens.
In certain circumstances, I could forget all about the parade.
Steady, junior, steady.
Ambrose. Um?
Do you think the McKims will get here? Alan?
It's kind of a family sacrament with him.
He'll be here on time if he has to push that Darracq on his hands and knees.
There are the Olivers.
Hello, old boy.
May I introduce my...
Miss Peters. John and Sally Oliver.
What time is it darling? Ten to seven.
We won't even be there for the dinner. For the first time.
First time ever in 25 years.
Oh, I never wanted a bath so much in all my life.
Darling, wait in the car a minute, will you? Why, what's the matter?
I'll be right back. But isn't it the right place?
Yes, but, well, just wait a minute.
Take your bags? Hold on a minute, will you?
Evening, miss. Evening.
Had a nice day's driving, miss. Thank you for asking,
No.
Time now? No.
Darling, there's.. There's something I have to tell you. Well.
Well, we haven't got a room.
That's absurd. Of course we've got a room. No.
You sent them a wire two weeks ago.
Yes but, last night when you said you weren't coming, I..I.. You sent them another wire
And cancelled them.
Yes.
And then you didn't tell me because you thought I might be put off by the idea of sleeping on the beach!
Darling, please don't be angry. They've given me the address of another place and they say it's wonderful.
Oh, wonderful!
Hotel Grand Palace
I should tell you that we don't usually let this room until all the others are taken.
You see, I'm afraid it is a little uncomfortable. It's rather noisy.
Noisy?
The lady who had it last, one of our permanent residents, was
totally deaf. So in her case it didn't really matter.
Unfortunately, only last week, we lost her.
You see. It's a, its really very near.. I'm sure it will do very well.
Well it's really very close... oh, that's all right.
Which floor, please? It's number 57 on the fifth.
Mr. And Mrs. McKim. Yes, that's right.
Is there a lift? Oh no, I'm afraid we have no lift.
Is there someone who can give me a hand with these?
I'm so sorry, the hall porter is just having his supper, but you can leave them there, if you like.
I think I can manage.
Is the bath near our room, please?
No, both the bathrooms are on the second floor landing.
The second. Yes, you'll see them on your way up, and
when you want to take a bath, would you be so kind to sign the little book you'll find just inside the bathroom door?
I'll sign right now.
Oh, I'm so sorry, but hot water is provided only in the afternoons between half past two and six.
There's no hot water? Yes, hot water is provided in the afternoons between half past two and six.
Darling, I think we'd better go up. Oh, this is preposterous!
Do I have to sign the book in order to have a cold bath?
The rule simply says that... hot water is provided.. You mean I can't even have a cold bath?
Wendy, please.
I am very sorry, but I did not make the rules. Well, then who did?
Oh, never mind. I don't want to know.
No one's ever complained before. Are they Americans?
I put in new plugs, but its always the carburettor.
...anyone getting flustered about his whipped crankshaft.
I don't care what anybody says
I wouldn't use a self-starter if you paid me.
Cars are like everything else, you've got to look after them.
What can you expect from a teased out old Darracq? Ho. Ho...
He won't dare show his face around the club for months.
I'm sure to say not even arriving in time for the dinner.
They've made it. Here they are. Hah hah
I was so afraid you weren't going to get here. We very nearly didn't.
Well, have you enjoyed your first race? Well, old sport?
We had a spot of trouble. Spot? Don't you realise...
Don't you realise that your Darracq was the only...it could have happened to anybody. Ah?
It didn't happen to my Spyker.
Oh no. Haven't we had enough about vintage cars for one day?
Lord, I couldn't agree with you more. I simply must know what was...
Are we going to have a party or a club meeting?
Look, Rosalind and I have put up with your nonsense all the way down,
And tomorrow we have to put up with it all the way back
Now just for a few hours let's have some peace.
Well I only wanted to know what went on. Oh, don't be such a bore. You're quite right!
This is only my first time. How you do it year in and year out, I can't imagine.
Shall we dance?
You sure you don't want to dance some more?
Oh no, if you don't mind, I'm afraid I'm not very good at it.
No, you're not. Still your better than Ambrose. Uh.
He knew Wendy before you did, didn't he?
Said he'd introduced you. Yes, that's right.
Well, I think it's sweet the way you don't worry about it.
What do you mean? Why should I worry about it?
Oh! Well, you know Ambrose better than I do.
That band's not awfully good, is it?
Uh? You know. You may not believe this.
But I can play the trumpet much better than them.
When I was 16 I was in an all-girl orchestra.
Oh, but I had to give it up.
Oh, why? No future in it.
Anyway, it ruins your lip.
You wouldn't think to look at me that I had ever played a trumpet, would you?
If you hadn't told me, it would never have occurred to me.
What do you think of Rosalind, eh? I think she's terrific. Really. Uh huh.
I'll tell you something, Wendy. In complete confidence, of course.
One of my greatest ambitions all these years
Has been to...now let's see, how to say this.
Has been to combine the pleasure of the London-Brighton
with a really beautiful emotional experience.
You mean you never had? It's incredible, isn't it? Every single..
Now don't laugh, please, please.
Every single year something's gone wrong.
In '48 the wretched girl had to come all the way to Brighton to discover that she's got measles.
German measles.
And in '49 the wretched girl locked you out of her room all night.
Poor Ambrose.
What happened to the others? Well, in 1950, she sudden...
Well, never mind the details. The fact is
that this time, at long last. The old London-to-Brighton takes on a special significance.
Congratulations, Ambrose, I'm very happy for you.
Thank you.
By the way, did you ever tell Alan about that weekend?
No.
Why not? He never asked me.
Well you don't suppose for a moment he thinks that... that I was an emotional experience?
No, I'm sure he doesn't. Well I don't know. He's always giving me some peculiar looks.
Oh, no, you mustn't think that.
Alan may have a little short-comings, but he certainly not the jealous type.
Thank you, dear.
Rosalind, don't you think you'd better... I'd like to play the trumpet!
Would anybody like to have me play the trumpet?
Hey, you must have had even more than I'd thought.
Wendy? You'd like to hear me play the trumpet?
Well! Do you.. do you think you should?
What's the name of your car? Clementine?
Genevieve. Genevieve!
I'll show them how to play the plumpet!
Heh, Rosalind!
She must be blotto.
Oh my!
Oh, no!
She can play.
She's marvellous. Yes.
That's wonderful. Well done, Rosalind!
Hear she...
Exactly!
Oh, listen!
Oh, darling. I love you!
There you are. That's the way to play the trumpet.
You were wonderful!
I'll say without any hesitation, that's the most astounding thing I've ever heard in my life.
That's genius. That's what it was.
Don't you agree with me? Wonderful! Alan? Absolutely.
Why on earth didn't you tell me...
Rosalind.
Rosalind!
She's out.
(Wendy laughs because Ambrose loses another chance for an emotional experience)
(Only Wendy knows that)
What's so funny?
Oh, don't pay any attention to me. It's just mild hysteria.
Wendy. There's something I want to ask you.
Mm? What is it?
I want to know...
Well, I want to know about, about you and Ambrose.
What about me and Ambrose.
I think it's time I knew exactly what's going on.
I don't know what you mean.
You know perfectly well what I mean.
He brings a different girl down here each year.
Let's not pretend we don't know why. Well?
I've never asked you this. I've never even mentioned it.
But now I want to know the answer.
What answer? What's the question?
What happened on the '49 run?
I'm serious, I want to know.
Wha..What happened on the '49 run?
Yes.
Um. Well, we left Hyde Park at about 8:30.
And then we stopped over in Surrey for a cup of coffee.
Oh, Alan.
Do you mean what happened after the annual dinner?
That's precisely what I mean.
Oh darling, are you sure?
Are you sure you really want to know what happened?
Why, you've never asked me before.
Why didn't you ask me before we were married?
Look what happened! 607
Oh, it's silly to bring it up after we've been married for three years.
Let's forget about it.
Make love to me. Don't be ridiculous!
Oh darling, you wouldn't want to be married to a woman of no experience whatever, would you?
What would you do if I told you?
You see? You don't even know.
When you make up your mind that you do. Then I'll tell you.
Make love to me.
Oh all right, if you don't take the matter seriously.. Alan, what are you doing?
I have some work to do on the car. At this hour?
Oh, can't it wait. Alan!
"What do you mean?"
"What would you do if I told you?"
"You see, you don't even know?"
I had a hunch I'd find you here. Well, what do you want?
Where's Rosalind?
She's asleep.
Well, what's so blasted funny about it?
You are. Never mind Ambrose. You still have Suzy.
Wendy turned in? Yes.
Why? I just wondered.
You see, she's fed up with you, old boy, if I may say so.
Well don't worry about it. Oh, but I do!
I mean I was the one that brought you two together.
I should hate to see anything going wrong.
With your marriage, I mean.
Just, what do you mean by that?
Well, sometimes, old boy,
I have the feeling that you don't really appreciate Wendy.
Oh, you do?
Yes, I'm sure of it. Well, I'm sure of something else.
We're getting awfully tired of you perpetually sticking your face into our affairs.
You're always hanging around, soaking up all the drink in the house
Bothering Wendy. Steady on!
Wendy always seems glad to see me.
Now, look here.
If you're so keen on Wendy, you're always pointing out you knew her before I did.
Why didn't you marry her when you had the chance?
You know, I've often wondered about that myself.
Frankly I think the answer is...
that Wendy's improved a lot during past three years.
I can't think why. But there it is.
You'd better clear out of here.
Right now.
We were just going.
You know, I really came to ask
if you'd like us to take Wendy back tomorrow.
After all, this old crock is scarcely likely to make it.
Don't be an ass. Do you really think that Spyker of yours..
A ha! It wasn't the Spyker that got you here after dinner.
This is a better machine, and you ruddy well know it. Nonsense.
Look, I'm bored with all this. Genevieve would leave you standing.
I don't suppose you'd care to back that statement.
I certainly would. Anytime. First one to London?
We'd get kicked out of the club. Ach! Who'd know?
All right. How much?
Anything you'd like. 25?
Uh huh. 50? Right. That's not too steep, for you?
Make it a hundred. Aw now, wait a moment.
What's the matter? Losing interest? By no means. But a hundred...
Hoy! It's just that I never knew you were a gambler. It's no gamble. This is the better car!
Even if it weren't, you're such a rotten driver. What?
You dare say that to me?
Rotten driver.
Right. 12 o'clock at the pub.
We'll be there. Come on, Suzy.
Well be there.
Friend of yours, guv? No!
Alan, what on earth are you doing?
I'm sorry, darling. I had to strip her right down.
Darling, you can't do without sleep. I'm all right really.
Listen, Wendy..
Ambrose was here. Last night.
What did he want? He said..
Oh it doesn't matter. The important this is we made a bet. We're racing back to London.
Oh, don't be silly. Ooh, it's cold in here.
Wendy...
I bet him a hundred pounds.
You did...I know I shouldn't have done it, but..
Oh! Wait a minute, Wendy listen Wendy!
Darling, you have to listen to me.
I admit it was foolish, I admit it was wrong to do it, but you have to come with me.
I'll have nothing to do with it.
You have to come. I'm serious.
If you didn't come, it'd be humiliating.
Alan, how could you?
Oh, I don't know..
I was angry. I lost my temper.
He was hinting things.
He said you were always glad to see him.
He said he wondered why he hadn't asked you to marry him.
Marry him? Ambrose?
Are you out of your mind?
Oh, darling, I'm sorry. I know I talked a lot of nonsense last night.
But you were so pompous and stuffy!
Oh, Alan, you must have known I was talking nonsense.
You can tell him you didn't mean it.
Aw, I can't. A bet's a bet.
We can beat him, darling. I promise you we can beat him.
All right, I'll come.
But if you've thrown away a hundred pounds
Almost all we've got in the bank. Just for the sake of a ridiculous bet.
Oh, Alan, how can you be such an idiot.
Alan, darling. What is it? Nothing. Nothing.
I'm just...
Rather tired.
Ah..You're looking better, now.
Won't it be awfully boring. Racing about in these old cars?
Boring? How fast do they go?
Well, if he tears that car of his to shreds she might get 27 out of her.
But I'll bet we'll absolutely leave him... will you put me on a train?
Now look, Rosalind. If I don't carry a passenger, how can I expect McKim to?
All right.
Oh..What a weekend. Huh.
I'll tell you what.
If we win that hundred pounds,
we'll pop over to Le Touquet, next weekend, eh?
Ambrose...
That Le Touquet routine went out with the high button boots.
Ha hah.. Here they are.
Morning, sport.
We thought you might have changed your mind. Wendy.
I seemed to have left the party rather abruptly last night.
Feeling better? Well, pop down, then.
Have a drink. We'll need one or two for the road.
No thanks, I'd rather get started. Ah.. Well surely you'll have just one.
No. Let's go.
Very well then, on your way. What do you mean?
Go ahead. We'll have a few more drinks, then we'll catch you up.
Oh. I think this is all getting very silly, don't you? Yes, I do!
Waiter. Another pint please.
But if we're ever going to race shouldn't we get started?
My dear old girl,
when that car gets started,
you'll be intoxicated by the exuberance of you own velocity.
Ha. Ha. Did'ya get that? I said you'd...
You'll be intoxicated by the... I'm not drinking anything at all today.
Nothing at all.
I'll show him. The pompous ass.
Any sign of them yet?
Come off it, darling. You want us to win, don't you?
Yes, of course I do.
But I still think it's ridiculous.
No I can't see them.
Good. Imagine him waving us off like that. Conceited clown.
Why don't you start it?
I say..
Would you mind giving me a push, please.
They're in a race against that Darracq.
All right, let's go.
Thank you.
Here we go.
Very decent of you. All together now. Push up.
Faster, please.
Push up. Push up. Come on. Faster.
Faster. Come on. Faster.
Faster, Madam, faster.
Come on, faster.
Push, Madam, push.
Well done!
We'll have that.
Well, I doubt if they'll believe us in court. But you were doing
about 50 miles per hour. Yes, but I can explain, officer.
You see. Trying to kill yourselves?
We're in a race. Race?
What are you racing in that? Another fellow in a 1904 Spyker.
Since when has the veteran car club gone in for racing?
Well, it hasn't really. But you see... well, you're in a restricted area!
You're not going to give us a ticket, are you?
Sorry, Madam.
But officer, we're already in so much trouble.
Who'd know if you just let us go.
We'd be so grateful.
Really.
Well don't let's catch you again.
Darling, you were wonderful.
They might have kept us there for 10 minutes.
Adieu!
Hi.
Ambrose can't be very far behind.
Get those sheep outta here!
You can't block up the whole road like this.
Go on, woman, get 'em outta here!
Go on. Get out of it! 791
Look, there's a short cut up there. We can round them.
Oh, Ambrose!
Ambrose, no!
No!
We're stuck.
Lovely, get out and push.
Me? What about my stockings?
Aw, never mind those I'll buy you a dozen pairs.
Go on, Rosalind, get out and push.
No, not like that. Get your shoulder into it.
There she comes. There she comes.
We're gonna go. We'll back it get going.
Get going! Come on, hurry up. Get going.
Get out of it. Come on.
I'm soaking. Look at my clothes.
I can't bear anymore of this! Look at me. I'm absolutely ruined!
Aw, pipe down. You're all right. I want to go home.
Woman, don't you realise we're in a race!
Will you kindly get those sheep outta here.
Get 'em outta here!
We can get some water over there.
Quick, run in there and ask for some.
Oh Ambrose, stop for a second will you. I can't see what I'm doing.
Stop. How can I stop? Are you mad?
Now, see here, my friend.
I don't think there's anyone here.
Oh, don't worry about that gate. Run down to the stream.
Don't be long, Wendy! Oh.
Wendy! What are doing? Hurry up! Oh, shut up. I am.
Look. There they are.
Aaa hah hah hahhhhh 'lo!
What's the matter? What do you want?
It's my wife. She's going to..
I've got to get the nurse. The district nurse. Oh well, all right. Well jump on.
Hurry. Oh thanks, thank you very much.
It's the next one. The turning on the left.
What? Do you mean to say it's off the main road? Only half a mile.
There, that one. But we can't. We're in a race...don't be so ridiculous!
Don't be such a stinker. This just isn't fair.
How can I be expected to stand a junket like this.
He's making awfully good time.
Straight. Straight. You're fine.
Oh please, can't you go a little faster. Shut up you...
You silly ass. Go on. Go on.
Anything wrong?
There's nothing serious. A broken fan belt.
So I have to get to a garage. Could you possibly give me a tow?
I'd be delighted. Got a rope? Yes thanks very much.
On your way back from the big rally? Yes,
My name's Callaghan.
J.C. Callaghan. McKim, Alan McKim.
Madam.
Well what's the point of rushing right now.
This won't take long to fix. Without a we've lost?
Who said we've lost?
Don't you admit that we've lost? Why should I?
But, being towed. You call that fair?
What did you expect me to do? Tear it to pieces by driving with it loose?
I didn't expect you to cheat. It's not cheating. You're just mad because you twisted your ankle.
If this isn't cheating. Then what is?
You've been the same all day. You didn't want to come to Brighton in the first place.
That's got nothing whatever to do with it. It's got everything to do with it.
...you've got to stick by the rules. Rules? Who makes the rules, anyway?
Haven't you got any brakes? You stopped so suddenly.
Look what you've done to this car.
It's not that serious, you know, my my insurance...
Insurance? What has that to do with it?
This car belongs to my wife. When she sees what...
Hey. How did we get ahead of you?
Just what does this mean?
Have you conceded the race? Take your hands off that car!
Of course I haven't conceded the race. I had to have a tow or I...
If we could need a tow to London, we could be there in half the time.
What am I going to tell my wife? What? How do I know what you're going to tell your wife.
Ask my wife. But there wasn't a single mark on it! Who cares about your wife.
What do you want, a public apology? Why don't you get outta here. You're trying to get into private arguments?
She only bought the car last summer. Oh, shut up!
You're worse than he is. Go away.
Go away. You go away! Yes go away. Go on get outta here. Buzz off.
Oh, really. Alan!
Can I help you sir. It's my fan belt. It's a broken link.
Right.
Now listen.
If you want to cheat and be pulled I'm not prepared to..
Oh look, what's the difference between being pushed or pulled.
We were pushed for nearly half a mile.
You keep out of this! Now stop it. Both of you.
You're being ridiculous. Either you call the whole thing off or else stop behaving like lunatics.
All right.
If you're going to make this a race in which anything goes,
That suits me. I can fix it sir. Right.
Whenever you're ready, Duchess.
Isn't this becoming just a little bit frantic?
Look what he's done to me.
Oh, he's no worse than Alan. The same every year.
Come on. We're wasting time.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Wendy.
Thank you, sir.
Don't worry. We'll catch them up.
What's wrong now?
Time check.
Oh, these flies. They'll drive me absolutely crazy.
Well, you don't seem to have enjoyed the picnic much.
Yesterday, you said you'd rather have a... that was yesterday.
I'm sorry, Ambrose, but I'm hot and I'm filthy.
Anyway
It was a sweet idea and a nice surprise.
More wine?
I shouldn't drink anymore.
Oh, it makes me so sleepy.
Why don't you stretch out and relax for a little while.
Can I?
Oh. It would be heaven.
What about the race? Don't give it a thought.
We've all the time in the world.
But, if you lose that race.. We won't lose. We can't.
McKim will be sitting in that garage for hours.
How do you know he hasn't already passed us.
Because he'll be looking for this.
You mean that car won't even run? Not ten feet.
So you see we haven't a thing in the world to worry about.
Well, I must say, that's a dirty trick to play on anybody.
Rosalind, you saw him being towed.
Anyway, I wouldn't have taken his money.
I don't care.
I think it's just a rotten thing to do. Oh, be reasonable. I thought you'd enjoy
a little break. I've had as much of this as I can stand.
I want to go home.
Oh, there's no need to hurt Suzy. Come on Suzy.
42 minutes. I think this one will hold, sir.
All right, thanks.
What kind of a man can do a thing like that!
That's what I want to know. What kind of a man.
Oh, darling, don't worry so. You'll make yourself ill.
Best I can do sir. Should get you to London.
Thank you, sir.
Hope you catch him sir.
We'll never catch him up now, darling. Never say die.
What kind of a man? What kind of a man, though?
I mean I had to have a tow or burn up my engine.
But, to make a bet and then to deliberately to ruin the other man's chances.
What on earth are you...
If you're about to become a father. I'm not interested.
I'm sorry to trouble you sir.
But I wanted to ask if you knew anything about the accident.
Accident?
Some friends of mine who were on the rally.
A young couple named McKim. We've just heard that they..
McKim?
What, do you mean to say. Was it a serious accident?
Well, the chap that just stopped here said.
Oh my.
Whom did you telephone?
What are you grinning about?
I suppose I should be grateful for a break in the gloom.
Ambrose and Rosalind will probably be in London by now and laughing at us.
What is it?
Oh, if you don't stop laughing I'll go...
Will you stop that silly row?
It's a surprise. And here it comes. Here it comes.
What's the matter. Some kind of an accident?
Someone's dying. Alan's rotten. That dirty rotten.
I'll pay you back, for this.
I still say, you shouldn't have done it. I say
He had it coming to him to let your best friend think you'd been killed?
My best friend. Oh, shut up, you make me sick.
What's the matter, officer?
You again.
What's going on? This car's been reported stolen,
Can't be them, Dave. The report said it was stolen only half an hour ago.
It's that idiot we're racing. The one I told you about.
He put in a false report? Looks like it, officer.
I'm afraid he's a little insane. He wouldn't stop at anything to win this race.
Wouldn't he. Where is he now?
That's him, there! All right. You go on. We'll deal with him.
Don't be too hard on him, will you?
He can't really help it, you know.
What's up, officer.
Your name, sir. Claverhouse, Ambrose Claverhouse.
Did you report a stolen car?
What? Stolen car, no!
Why this is my car, officer.
May I see your licence, sir. Yes, of course.
Well..
Well, wait a minute. I've uh...
Ambrose! Stop it!
You'll have to stop somewhere for a minute. What?
Oh, no. Not now.
Surely you can.. No, I can't.
If you don't mind.
But officer.
I had new wicks put in all the lamps only last week.
That tire's meant to be loose. It's been like that for the last 49 years!
It'd be more regular to have him sign a proper statement
at the station. Oh, but fair is fair, officer. You've kept us here for four minutes already.
If you don't let us go now, we won't even stand a chance.
All right, but I warn you. Ah, thank you officer.
One more trick like that and you'll be in real trouble.
I bet that shook him.
There, that'll do.
I tell you straight off. That's the most disgusting trick I've ever known
A man to play. Which trick?
Stealing the top of my float chamber and telling the police I'd stolen my own car.
You started all that.
You can't even cheat on a decent basis.
You let us think you'd been killed.
Ah hah, ah well, the report of my death was, uh, what was it the man said?
“Greatly exaggerated.” Who cares about your death.
I was thinking about Wendy.
If it weren't for Wendy, I'd give you a lesson you'd never forget.
Have you ever seen anything like it?
Is it really like this every year. Not quite like this.
Now, if you really feel in an instructive mood. I warn you, I'm almost
At breaking point. Go on then break.
I warn you. Then what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
What goes on inside their heads that's what I'd like to know.
I don't know about your husband, but Ambrose seems to think of only
Two things. That silly old car, and the other thing. What other thing?
Oh, no. My husband only thinks about the car.
Oh, dear.
Now then. Now then.
Oh, no!
All right. Come on. Break it up. Break it up. Break it up.
Well, don't look at me. He started all this! I was only thinking of her.
First, you decide to stage a race on a public
highway. Not in sound cars
With decent brakes. But in two museum pieces.
Which were out of date 40 years ago.
Officer, really. Then, you go tearing through a restricted area
At 50 miles per hour. He can't do 50 miles per hour. Then you put in false reports to the police.
Well. Then you decide you can't be satisfied unless you bash each
other's brains out. There was nothing to it. Really.
Now, we wouldn't like you gentlemen to think we're being unreasonable
Oh, thank you very much... but if there's one more bit of trouble from either of you.
We'll pull you in on so many different charges you won't be out in time for next year's Brighton run.
Let's go. These two are driving me barmy. 1029
All right, come on now. All over.
You shouldn't encourage them, you know.
Well!
This is the end! Making a public spectacle of yourselves.
Oh well. I wouldn't have believed you could have behaved like this.
Either of you! Just hauling like brooligans.
Hauling like brooligans?
Well, brawling like hooligans.
He was hauling like a brooligan, not me.
Don't you call me a brooligan.
It's not funny! Oh, goodness sake let's go home.
All right. Let's call the whole thing off and have a party.
Look, the pub will be open in ten minutes, what do you say?
All right. That's a good idea. Come on. Let's go.
Got you're sure, lovely cream. Yes. Let's have four doubles.
All out, or take them with you?
What are you laughing about?
Oh.
Look! Hi dee. Oh! Doubles all around!
Cheers, my dear.
I was wondering what that chap you backed into told his wife.
Tell me. How did you get behind us back at Pease Cottage.
Eh? Oh! We picked up an expectant father looking for the district nurse.
In the time I wasted with him. I could have delivered the brat myself.
These are good.
You know, everything being said, we've made jolly good time.
Oh, I don't know.
If we'd really wanted to we could have been in London 2 hours ago.
Why weren't you, then. I didn't want to take your money, old sport.
Ask Rosalind. Didn't I say to you...
If you didn't want to take the money, why did you make the bet?
Well. Heat of the moment, old boy.
As soon I realised you hadn't a chance. A chance? We were ahead of you!
Now, look.
But there are still nine miles to the bridge.
You don't think you could have stayed ahead of us, do you. I most certainly do.
What difference does it make, who's ahead of who?
It makes every difference. It was his idea we call off the race.
Do you really think you'd stand an earthly?
I've a good mind to hold you to that bet.
Hold me? As far as I'm concerned. The bet's still on.
Oh, you're not serious. Right! But if that old crock of yours falls to pieces you've asked for it.
Come on Rosalind. First on Westminster Bridge. You're on. Here we go again.
What? Can't you be reasonable?
We gave you a chance to call it off.
Look, there's just one thing.
Whatever you think of that car, she'd fetch a 100 pounds tomorrow.
Is that right? Oh, easily. But I ...
All right. The bet's still on. But if I lose, I won't pay you a 100.
I'll give you Genevieve. Genevieve?
Oh, look Alan. That's fair enough, isn't it?
Isn't it? Well... first over the bridge.
First over the bridge. Get in, Rosalind.
But, Alan,
Surely you don't... there's no money involved. I'm betting the car.
It's got nothing whatsoever to do with you. If you don't like it you can get out and take a bus.
Look, don't you think this is getting a little out of.. What has it got to do with you?
You heard what he said.
Either get out of this car and take that silly mutt with you or stop your blasted nattering.
...that truck of yours falls to pieces.
Silly ass!
You really think you can beat him? Of course I can.
First on Westminster Bridge! Ok!
Come on, Alan.
Come on, quickly! Come along.
We're in a race.
Let's go. Hurry!
They're going!
Take it away!
Leave me alone. Hurry up.
Come on. I want my ice cream!
Take it off the...
Come on. Hurry up.
Come on!
Before I ...
She's missing! They're coming!
Ah! They're coming. Can't be the ....
They're coming.
Come on.
They're coming. They're coming!
Oh, come on.
They're coming!
Oh, Alan, faster, faster!
Oh, come on!
Faster. Faster.
What's this?
This is ridiculous. Ah.
Get outta here!
Move on, madam. Woman driver.
Get out of it!
Get out of the way, madam!
Go along.
Go on. Pull over.
Pull out. Madam. Ah!
Look, look at the lorry.
Hey! I want to get outta here. I'm in a race.
Go away.
Come on, chum. Back out of it. I want to get outta here.
Get that other car to move. 1128
Oh, blast!
He's coming.
You wait!
That cop is on my side. It's not over yet! Well.
Who..Whoosh. It's a Darracq!
A Darracq, sir.
On, my word, sir. Forgive me speaking to you without an introduction.
She's beautiful, sir.
Beautiful! This's the first car I ever owned, sir, Darracq.
Aristocrats. All of 'em. But, there's not a scratch her!
I'm sorry sir. You have to excuse me.
First car that I ever owned, sir, a Darracq.
I'm sorry, sir, you have to excuse me. I would never have believed it possible!
If you knew the pleasure it gives me to see this wonderful car.
So wonderfully kept. It's almost too good...
I wish my wife was here. Yes sir, do you know it was a Darracq exactly like this one that I asked my wife to marry me.
1904, so it was, Pangbourne. And she said yes.
But, oh..
It was the car. I'm sure of that. It was the car.
I hope I'm not holding you up.
No at all, sir.
I knew there were chaps like you. You know. Keeping up these old cars.
We don't get about as much as we used to, you know. No.
Look, perhaps you'd like me to come over. I'll give you a drive in it, sometime.
But uh.. Do mean to say.. But that's very kind... you would really do that?
I.. I simply can't tell you... wait a moment. I'm sure I've got a card. 1154
Your wife might like to come, too
And take the wheel yourself, if you like.
I say, sir.
Tomorrow evening? Tomorrow!
I'm very grateful, sir. Very grateful, indeed.
Good day, sir. Good day, madam.
Good bless you. God bless you.
A wonderful old man.
Wasn't he?
Oh, Alan!
What's the matter?
What are you crying about?
Oh, darling, when you just sat there. When you just sat there
I knew what you were thinking.
I knew you wouldn't just drive away and leave him.
Come on, Wendy.
You know I don't like to see you cry.
But you've lost her.
You've lost Genevieve. I'll survive.
Oh, darling. I'm so sorry.
Wendy, stop it, will you?
There's not reason to cry.
I mean a bet's a bet. I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't been prepared to lose.
But Genevieve means more to you, than, than anything.
You know she does.
Ha, nonsense.
You'll give him the money instead. Promise me you will.
Wendy, be sensible.
Promise me. I shall hate myself for the rest of my life.
We'll talk about it. No. No, you can always talk me into anything.
Say you will.
Well it.. Say it!
All right.
But it'll leave us practically penniless.
Who cares about that.
Look.
All right. All right. All right.
Leave it. I'll get it.
Come on.
Come on, Wendy.
All right. Don't forget.
Now, that's the lot. Now get outta here!
No!
Look, there they are.
She's stalled.
Push the pedal.
Push the pedal!
You get in and steer.
Come on, push. I am pushing.
Oh. Come on!
There!
Aha. We got 'em.
It's stuck.
You wait till next year!
You wait!
If I'd done that driving.. I'd show you.
I'd have been there two hours ago by...